Here’s the thing: Something’s missing….

I’m from the DMV, specifically Baltimore (which isn’t really apart of the DMV but is technically since it is in Maryland).  9 years ago being gay in at the DMV meant one thing, 3rd Saturday at the DOX (The paradox). Literally everyone, or what seemed like everyone, was there. The Dox was a warehouse like night club and on 3rd Saturday was the night when anyone, gay or questioning,  18 and over would come and party all night long.  We would pile into my car and it literally would take me like a hour and a half to pick everyone up. In the dead winter at 12am, because it didn’t start until 12am, we would wait in the cold, in heels, and huddled together with drinks because it was byob (bring your own bottle) as long as you were over 21. 

I was a party goer…  I still am but it’s not the same and I’m missing it so much. I’m missing the friends, which is bitter sweet, I’m missing the action because the parties just aren’t the same anymore. The last time I had a good time partying was when I was in Miami for Sweetheat in 2013. All my friends, all 3-5 of them, probably hate to hear me relive that weekend. But, hell, it honestly was the last time I truly felt fulfilled. Sad, right?

I love to be around women, beautiful women. I love to have a few drinks and I love to dance all night. I love to dance until my feet are killing me. I love to dance until I’m sweaty and  can only sway from side to side.  Now, I get excited to go out…get there and then realized I wasted my time. Then I chastise myself for even wasting my time getting excited. I end up spending the whole night texting because I’m bored.

I miss partying. My life isn’t 100% but I’m financially stable, my bills are paid, I have a roof over my head and I want fun. I want the fun that I feel like I should be having in my 20s, but the thing is my 20s fun closely matches up to unrealistic TV.  Going out, and partying, and enjoying friends I don’t have.

UGH. I’m honestly just ranting at this point. But, does anyone get it?



3 thoughts on “Here’s the thing: Something’s missing….

  1. You’re not alone. I definitely feel at times like my life is a failed attempt at a reality show, ha. I’m waiting for the mistakes and unforgettable memories, but as we wait time just passes by. I’m all for getting dressed up and grabbing a bottle of wine and watching a classic though. You can still take the infamous ‘selfies’ and get drunk, but you can also lounge around and bypass the drama of drunk sttangers dieing to take you to bed.

  2. I feel stupid asking but looked I up DMV it didn’t give me what I think your talking about.

    What exactly does it stand for?

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