I am not a small girl. My breasts are full, my butt sits high (enough for me) and my waist definitely says, “Hello” (Team “what waist?” Does not reside here). When I look in the mirror, some days my outfit of choice hides what needs to be hidden and accentuates what deserves to be shown off. Some days, my mirror is tilted just enough to destort my reflexion showing me what I want to see. And some days it shows me exactly what’s there, a plus sized woman. Yes, I have several friends who tell me “you really aren’t as big as you think you are” and then there’s the friend who will group me in with saying “our fat asses.” But what is it really like to be plus sized in 2015? Let me tell you.
I’m not ashamed of being a plus sized woman. How could I be when I do absolutely nothing to fix it. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind my size if my weight didn’t go into my face or my breasts or my arms (which were big before my significant weight gain). But we are in a period of fashion when no holds barred. Every thing is either short, revealing, cropped, lace, or just plain too sexy for my size. Now there are some seriously confident women out here who don’t care their size and go for it ! But that’s not me. I care about cinching and tucking. I know you can be covered and sexy but I’ve never been one that desired to be covered. My breasts are huge so I don’t mind cleavage but what I can’t do is open back anything. Two reasons, my breast are huge and need to be supported and back fat. I recently had the (dis)pleasure of shopping for a mini girls trip to NYC pride. I wanted to be sexy and while I think I achieved it, mostly, it was a struggle and to be honest I was just a little self conscious. It was the first time,in a long time, I bared as much as I did being the size that I am.
There are two kinds of plus sizes, the kind that works and the kind that doesn’t. While I am shapely, I am not situated in such a way where I can wear crop tops and high waisted things. This is the kind of plus size that doesn’t work. I’m almost straddling the fence. But then there’s the kind that works and I’m not sure if it’s their confidence or what but these women are wearing outfits I could only dream about while being plus size and slaying !! Now granted I may lack in confidence area and while I don’t need anyone to validate my “beauty” I am still a woman and I can’t remember the last time I was out and a stranger paid me a compliment. I feel like we are in a age where you have to be natural and flawless or you have to be extremely beat, light skin and slim to be noticed at all. No one, besides plus sized women, are praising plus sized women. I see a million memes celebrating what the media precieves as beautiful and it’s never a plus sized woman. Even the campaigns that are supposed to celebrate all body types and all complexions aren’t celebrating “real” body types. I am not shaming the plus sized woman with the flat stomachs. I’m saying, not all plus sized women have flat stomachs, air brushed or not, I see a thick woman who is other wise perfect just thick.
I even came across someone who is swearing that decent black lesbians don’t exist. Now while I’m not available to this person, I certainly do exist but not by their standards. Why? Because I happen to not be “in shape”. Which is fine but plus size women are often excluded. Even before I gained weight I actually preferred plus sized women to date. But hey, just my opinion.
If you are plus sized how do you feel in 2015? What do you face as a plus sized woman?
Note: I realize none of this is new. But it’s just a good fashion period (for me, that I am missing) and in such a digital time period with social media available people find ways to express their opinions daily and these are the things I see daily regarding plus sized women.
Until next time…