Labels, part II. 

Read part one here

Preface: This is not meant to offend anyone. So please read with an open mind. And if I have used any offensive language please let me know and I will see if it can be adjusted. Moving on…

So, this isn’t about labels…not exactly but you will see where it fits in. This is a question that I’ve been asked by various friends and it’s even a question I have asked a friend. I have even been asked this question by a girl I dated year ago and my answer was a resounding NO.  By now I am sure you’re wondering “what the hell is the question?”  

Would you date an FTM?

This is where we broach the line of ignorance that I may have. Year’s ago when I was maybe 19/20 I didn’t really understand what it was to be a transgendered person so I honestly didn’t understand the transition.  I was often confused by it. I had watched a documentary or even a television show like The L Word where Mara became Max and Max had a boyfriend. And I was like, “why didn’t she just stay a straight woman”. 

It was years later that I realized gender identity and sexual preference aren’t tied into one another. They are both very fluid and not just black and white, which is what society would have us believe in the past. Now people are more open, more accepting and we are exposed to a lot more. We have a transgender Actress and a Former Olympian! This is something people didn’t talk about on primetime TV. Now, people are more open about it like I’m here and I’m here to stay. I’ve even seen a few television shows that addressed it, The L Word, Law and Order SVU, An autobiography on Lifetime and an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, can’t forget OITNB. I’ve said all this to say it’s opened my eyes to being more accepting and more understanding too. I won’t even pretend like there isn’t a bias inside of the LGBT community because there is. But I won’t be one of them. 

But that brings me back to my question. “Would you date an FTM?”  A part of me feels like I could but then apart of me has to put it into perspective. I like very dominant women. No matter how “hard” they appear on the outside, when they take their clothes off, they are still undoubtly soft women with the body parts that I prefer. And let’s face it even if I do like a strap, it comes of, so. And I like that. But I imagine for someone who is transgendered it’s not the same as someone who is just playing the role. A transgendered person feels strongly that they were misassigned at birth and they aren’t playing a role. This is who they are. This brings me to the labels part. I am a lesbian. I am not bisexual. I am not straight. So where would that leave me if that was something I would consider? I don’t have a point of reference but I also fell like if I was in a situation where this could arise that I could be open to it. 

So, my questions to my readers are:

  1. If you’re a lesbian, would you date a male who was born female?
  2. If you are a heterosexual woman, would you date a male who was born female?
  3. How do labels play when it comes to this area
  4. If you are a transgendered person, what has been your experience in dating? 

I want to know, people!! 

Until next time…

With Love,

Tania

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4 thoughts on “Labels, part II. 

  1. I identify as lesbian but do find FTMs attractive. It’s more a mind over body attraction for me, I admire anyone who has the strength and courage to go through such a huge ordeal in order to be and show who they genuinely are. I have my own gender issues which I’m fortunate enough to suppress without too much turmoil, but I know that even if I couldn’t I would not be brave enough to do everything they have to go through in order to fully transition. That strength and self-belief is sexy to me.

  2. Oh definitely. I guess in a lot of ways I envy their strength, maybe that’s a part of it too.. There’s nothing more attractive than knowing who you are and fighting to live authentically.

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