Girl Code: Invest in yourself 

So, I think sometimes women wear so many different hats that they forget to take care of themselves. Or, I think some people waste time looking cute and looking for the next money train. When I am bored, the first thing I think is , “hmm, what kind of degree can I get”. Literally, I’m always looking for a degree and the reason is always because I am bored.  Continue reading


Girl Code: Bon Voyage 

Hi Guys,

You have no idea how much I am enjoying blogging this series! I see posts often that inspire a new code that I believe women should follow or at least be mindful of. Today is no exception! However, just in case someone out there is new to this series, please find the other installments of The Girl Code Series here: Continue reading

Girl Code: I am worth T H I S many…..

Hey guys!

I’m here again with another installment of the Girl Code. Today’s lesson is Self Esteem 201: Know Your Worth. I know a lot of people are extremely self confident and I know there are people who are adamant about knowing their worth. But, with the way social media is set up you either have to be extremely self confident or fake it til you make it. 

This quote was so true based on my personal experience. People only do what you allow them to do. And I think the amount of fuck shit you will accept increases when you’re self esteem is low or when you don’t know your worth. 

Well girls ( and guys), I’m here to tell you, YOU ARE ENOUGH. Don’t allow anyone to make you think you aren’t. Don’t allow anyone to make you think you’re standards are too high. People who want to be in your presence will rise to the occasion. And, I’m not saying that in a conceited way, I’m saying it in a way to let you know that you’re supposed to have standards. You need to know what things you will no longer accept. 

This also ties in with loving yourself. Love yourself fiercely! Don’t accept any love less than you would give yourself. 

Girl code 301: Know your worth! 

Until next time…

With love, 


Girl Code: Protect your peace…

I’ve learned over the years that your persception of life directly controls your attitude towards it. What I mean by that is, if you’re a “woe is me” type of person with a negative outlook on life and you feel like bad things are constantly happening to you, chances are they are because you’re attracting it. I know this to be true because I was once that person. However, I’m doing the more optimistic, positive, and peaceful thing now-a-days. 

I speak often of my journey because, for one, you would have had to have been there to understand and now I’m here, still a work in progress, but I’m in a much better space than before. And, it wasn’t with out hardwork, brain training and positive thinking. But let me tell you something, no matter how hard you work and how optimistic you are, there are times when toxic people enter your space and tend to disturb your peace. You know these people. They are your friends, your family, your lover. They are people close and maybe even distant to you. You feel their negative energy well before they enter your space. Negative  Nancy, Killjoy Kim, Nagging Nita, Screwface Sam, Unsolicited Advice Ursela… the list goes on but you know these people. 

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt because I once sat, for a very long time, on that side of the table. Hell, I still sit there from time to time ( I told you – work in progress). But, sometimes I’m in such a good mood, in such a good place, that I cannot allow that toxic vibe to disturb my peace. And then, at some point, there may come a time where you have to rid yourself of that toxic person. And I am here to assure you ladies that that is OK

This person could have been in your life for years. But, who needs someone who downs all their ideas, kills their vibe, and doesn’t nurish their soul?  The people you surrounding you should uplift you, they should be helping you grow. You should never not be growing.  If I’m sending you good vibes that’s absolutely all I want in return. It is most important that you realize: 

  1. You are in charge of your happiness. 
  2. Karma is REAL. Don’t do what you wouldn’t want to come back on you. 
  3. Your peace deserves to be undisturbed at all times. 

As painful as it may be to think that you have or can grow apart from someone you love and have loved for years it’s a grim reality. And it doesn’t have to be sad or painful. But you could be causing more harm than good by allowing pesticides and toxins into your flourishing garden! 

Girl Code Rule 102

Until next time…

With love,


Girl Code : Is it ok for you to date your friend’s ex?

Literally while I was sleep an idea came to me. I’ve decided to do  series on the infamous “Girl Code” from my point of view. The Girl Code is a list of things women just know. Or, should know. I’ve  been sitting on this topic for a while after a few comment exchanges and a post on Black Lesbian Love Lab (which you should obviously read). Is it ok for your friend to date your ex or vice versa? Continue reading